Attention: Blog Failure!

Because of the lack of readers on the blog, this blog will no longer be updated regularly. When I can, I will still post reviews for games but these will no longer be scheduled or announced ahead of time. If you'd like your fill of Nintendo news, check out my other (much more popular site) Nintendo 3DS wiki by clicking here.

I had fun while it lasted but I don't think I really have any regular readers. If I get a certain amount of comments then I might consider coming back to writing for the blog, but until then have fun in the wonderful world of Nintendo!

Top 7 Mario Kart Feature Part 1 (Characters, Karts, Items, Games)

Note: This is part 1 of a two part article. Part 2 (Battle stages, tracks, specialty tracks, and tracks that didn't make it) will be online on January 8th 2011.

The Mario Kart franchise has been so good over the last seven installments that I couldn’t resist doing a Top 7 (get it, seven) feature naming the top 7 things in certain categories. On this web page, you’ll find my personal opinion on the top 7 Mario Kart characters, karts, items, tracks, specialty tracks, “tracks that almost made it but didn’t”, and the seven games themselves. Each of these categories will be explained in further detail below. I hope you enjoy this feature as I will hopefully begin to do more of these type of features in the near future. See you online!

Category 1: Top 7 Mario Kart Characters

Our first category was one of the easiest categories for me to judge. The following is the top 7 characters of all the Mario Kart games. If the character was only seen in one game then that specific game is listed in parentheses otherwise the character is seen in multiple Mario Kart titles. Let’s start with our honorable mention!

Honorable Mention: Yoshi

Not only is Yoshi one of the cutest Mario characters around, but he also happens to be my favorite color: green! Although Yoshi doesn’t do anything all that great for the Mario Kart franchise, he’s one of my favorite Mario series characters nonetheless and he may not make the top 7, but he’s still an energetic little chap worth mentioning.

Number 7: Luigi

Another of the two green characters, Luigi finally gets the opportunity to beat his brother Mario at something other than ghost-hunting. Luigi also has a talent at designing race courses although they usually aren’t all that difficult, or exciting for that matter, or even all that cool, but I guess it just comes with his character. Luigi may like driving on the safe roads, but that’s just one more thing to love about him.

Number 6: Lakitu (MK7)

One of the Mario Kart series’ newest arrivals is one of the most deserving of a spot on this list. Lakitu has volunteered his important time to help referee kart races now for decades and it’s about time he actually gets to participate in one. Lakitu also happens to be one of the cutest characters on this list which is just another reason why he’s on it in the first place.

Number 5: Shy Guy (MK7)

Although Shy Guy was technically playable in Mario Kart DS, he didn’t really come into his own until just recently in Mario Kart 7. Shy Guy is one of my favorite characters for two primary reasons: the noises and sounds he makes, and the fact that his true identity remains hidden behind a mask. His character still intrigues me to this day and makes Shy Guy one of my favorite Mario Kart racers of all time.

Number 4: Funky Kong (MKWii)

I’ve never really loved Funky Kong as some do, but I do notice that he is one pretty cool dude. Funky Kong’s design is pretty awesome and rumor has it that he has some awesome sort of speed boost. His sound effects are pretty cool too, makes me want to hang out with this guy.

Number 3: Metal Mario (MK7)

What’s the one thing cooler than Mario? Well metal makes everything better so…Metal Mario! His inclusion in Mario Kart 7 wasn’t all that awesome considering he’s just Mario’s metallic twin, but I love the sounds he makes and how the game gives me nostalgia towards Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine. Then again, the game isn’t called Metal Mario Kart, although that’d be pretty awesome.

Number 2: Bowser

At first I wasn’t going to include Bowser in this list, but then it hit me, Bowser’s castles are some of the best courses in the franchise. Bowser loves to build his not-so luxurious race courses all over the place and us racers couldn’t be happier. “Sorry Mario, but our princess is in another castle” now has a whole new meaning.

Number 1: Mario

Why would Mario not win this contest? Considering he’s probably the most-played, most-known, and most-popular of the Mario Kart playable roster, this should come to little surprise. Plus, some of the most memorable tracks are named and constructed with Mario in mind. If these reasons haven’t convinced you Mario should be number one, look over this entire article and tell me how many times the word “Mario” is written, and if you’re still not convinced then I’ll be sending you a spiny shell next time you’re on an interstate.

Category 2: Top 7 Karts

This is the run-down of the top 7 karts from the Mario Kart franchise, and as always including an honorable mention. Pictures of each kart are located next to the kart description as well. I chose my top 7 based on kart appearance and not by kart stats such as speed, handling, etc.

Honorable Mention: Sprinter (MKWii)

The Sprinter’s design is a bit more stereotypical than most of Mario’s karts (see what I did there), but it’s still a pretty solid looking design. It wasn’t quite good enough to make the top 7 but it’s still one of my all time favorites.

Number 7: Wild Wing (MKWii)

The Wild Wing looks pretty much like a really hot car with wings. The paint job is beautiful if you drive it as Mario and the car itself looks great. Wario’s car from Mario Kart Double Dash almost got this spot over the Wild Wing but in the end I chose this one.

Number 6: Standard Kart (MKWii)

The standard karts always look pretty neat, but the Mario Kart Wii version is my absolute favorite. The sleek front of the kart looks really awesome, and the kart in general actually looks like a go-kart, but better.

Number 5: Koopa King (MKDD)

The Koopa King is surely one of the largest karts in the franchise, and also one of the fastest. The kart has maximum speed in Mario Kart Double Dash and is a joy to drive, although it takes a while to accelerate. The kart design is pretty awesome with six wheels in total and an awesome paint job and face located on the front of the kart.

Number 4: Heart Coach (MKDD)

The Heart Coach may not be a favorite among many, but to me it’s one of the best looking karts in the series. The overall design is gorgeous and the front half of the kart looks great with its blend of antique and modern and a little bit of royalty blended in (it does belong to a Princess after all).

Number 3: B-Dasher (MKDS/MK7)

By far one of the sleekest karts (and most known) is the B-Dasher found in Mario Kart DS and again in Mario Kart 7. The design is everything you could possibly want: a stereotypical racecar with a massive engine, sweet tires, a basic but cool paint job, and a bit of a modern touch. The B-Dasher is also one of the best karts for racing in because of its good balance of speed and acceleration.

Number 2: Red Fire (MKDD)

The Red Fire is pretty much the standard kart for Double Dash, and like always with Double Dash, the kart designs are genius earning the Red Fire number two on this list. In all honesty, the Red Fire is much more visually appealing than any other standard karts from the franchise history, and the kart is a joy to drive as well.

Number 1: Mach Bike (MKWii)

Isn’t it ironic that a list of the best karts in the series would include a bike in the first place position? That just shows how awesome the mach bike is, at first I wasn’t going to have it take the glorious first place award, but after looking at the stunning picture of Peach riding it, I couldn’t help myself. This image of the Mach Bike actually makes me not want to dislike Peach anymore, in all honesty… it makes Peach look pretty dang sexy. Of course, the Mach Bike makes everyone look pretty good. Gee I’d like to get one for myself.

Category 3: Top 7 Items

Moving onto our third category of the day and I’m not showing any signs of stopping. Here I present my top 7 items of the series (and of course with an honorable mention, it was hard narrowing it down to seven!) Some of these items have been known to cause sheer pain, if you have been previously offended by one of the following items (cough spiny cough shell cough…) then stop reading this article now and cool down by staying in a comfortable 2^nd place next time you play Mario Kart, if not then enjoy!

Honorable Mention: Bullet Bill

The Bullet Bill may feel a bit like cheating, in fact, a lot like cheating, but it’s still a hell of a lot of fun to ram through other karts at top speeds and reach the front of the pack. It does it all for you too, no thought involved, who says you can’t get nothing good for free? Of course it does come with a price, the embarrassment of needing to use it in the first place…

Number 7: Giant Banana (MKDD)

The giant banana from Mario Kart Double Dash is one of the character-specific items (which could have filled the list themselves) and is the only thing better than a banana. Using this thing on tight bridges can be a blast as it’s nearly impossible for your opponents to navigate through undamaged, and when they fail to avoid the walloping fruit of doom, three smaller bananas take their turn at crashing even more karts.

Number 6: Thunderbolt

Another “cheap” item that’s a bit embarrassing for hardcore players to use is the thunderbolt. But then again, it’s the one and only item in the series that is physically impossible for opponents to avoid (unless of course they are invincible), and it makes them small and completely vulnerable for your tire’s squishing pleasure.

Number 5: Fire Flower (MK7)

The Fire Flower is by far the best item in Mario Kart 7, and one of the best overall in the series. Shooting fireballs forwards and backwards is a great way to catch up during a race, and it’s very satisfying when you finally land a hit on another player.

Number 4: Spiny Shell

Ahhhhh!!! You probably saw this coming, or maybe you didn’t, sometimes they catch you by surprise and blow your kart to smithereens. So why did the world’s most hated item make it this high on the list? Several reasons. There are several ways to avoid or share the impact of a spiny shell and they’re all very satisfying to perform. One is to drive into some sort of barrel shooter like on the DK levels, another is to use a last minute mushroom, and you can also drive near the second place player and share the explosion with them, which is always fun. My personal favorite however only works if you are aware a spiny shell is en route (only possible in Mario Kart DS and Mario Kart 7 via the map screen), you can deliberately fall back into second place and moments later watch the poor pathetic pack leader be blown to pieces. Of course if all else fails, I guess you’ll be blown apart and taken from first place on the final stretch of the course, which is always a huge pain in the butt. Thinking back, why did I allow Spiny Shell into the Top 5???

Number 3: Fake Item Box

As to why the fake item box didn’t make the cut into Mario Kart 7 I cannot answer, as it is truly one of the best items in the franchise. For one, you can’t use it as a tail behind your kart to avoid incoming red shells as they will go right through it, and it’s great for fooling other racers into driving right into it because of its similarity to the real item boxes. Their strategic placements can make them a great strategic element as well, and yet another reason why they are number 3 on this list.

Number 2: Bob-omb

You probably didn’t see this coming, but the Bob-omb is honestly one of the greatest things about Mario Kart. First of all, they starred in the fantastic battle mode option “Bob-omb Blast” from Mario Kart Double Dash in which they were so much fun to play with. But the primary reason for its number two spot, is the fact that it is a very strategic item that requires tons of thinking by the throwers part. You could throw it up ahead and sneak attack somebody from above, or you could surprise someone behind you with it by dropping it behind you. Plus, it’s one of the few items you have to really be careful you don’t hit yourself with, as it’s extremely common for exactly that to happen.

Number 1: Red Koopa Shell

Here it is, the greatest Mario Kart item to date. The green shell was not meant to make this list, but I surely couldn’t leave its amazing brethren from the contest. The red shell made first for one simple reason, there’s nothing more satisfying in the entire universe than being in second for the final stretch of a race, just to throw a red shell at your first place opponent, stopping him just short of the finish line. That makes one of the most memorable moments you can have with the awesome franchise.

Category 4: Top 7 Games

Rounding out the first half of this countdown is the top 7 Mario Kart games themselves. If you have already read my reviews for the Mario Kart series then these rankings should come to little surprise as they pretty much match up with my scores from their respective reviews.

Number 7: Mario Kart Super Circuit

Not only does the first handheld Mario Kart title have bad visuals, but the controls are simply-put: awful. The only saving grace for Super Circuit is its amount of tracks, with 20 new and many re-used from Super Mario Kart. If only modern Mario Karts would revert back to having 20 new tracks, yes please!

Number 6: Super Mario Kart

It may be obvious, but I’m not much of a big advocate for the older Mario Kart games as I find they have lackluster graphics, outdated designs, and terrible controls. The same can be said for Super Mario Kart, although the game is overall better than its GBA sequel, Super Circuit, I still find its lack of refined controls disturbing.

Number 5: Mario Kart DS

Mario Kart DS was in an interesting position as far as my rankings went. In some ways, Mario Kart DS is the best of the Mario Kart titles thanks to its awesome mission mode, difficult grand prix modes, and good battle mode. The title was also the first to incorporate online races for better or for worse thanks to “snaking” and lagging connections. The game also included 16 recreated tracks from older titles along with the usual 16 new tracks which was a huge plus. The visuals however, while good for the DS, don’t compare to the visuals of most other Mario Kart games, and the game’s multiplayer experience isn’t nearly as compelling as in most Mario Kart titles. Of course, the placement of this game at 5^th place simply shows how wonderful the other Mario Kart titles really are.

Number 4: Mario Kart 64

You’ve got to love Mario Kart 64 for a lot of reasons: its outstanding battle mode, its clever track designs, its intense multiplayer, the great soundtrack (and for the time: the visuals), and the fact that the game was just a cartridge full of fun. I can’t say the controls were masterful yet, as drifting was terribly difficult to master, but for the most part Mario Kart 64 was an awesome game. The difficulty bar was set much higher than usual which was both good and bad, and I still wish you could continue a Grand Prix even if you got 5^th place or worse.

Number 3: Mario Kart Double Dash

For a while, Mario Kart Double Dash was my favorite of all the Mario Kart games, and it was almost number one on this list and had it not been for the stiff competition, it would have. Double Dash was just so darn good. The visuals were gorgeous, the track designs are some of the best in the series, the music, controls, and modes were all great too, although more tracks would have been nice. The two-racers per kart hook was great, and allowed less experienced players to tag along with Kart-masters, and speaking of karts, the kart designs in MKDD were superb, every kart was designed purely with a corresponding racer in mind, and the character roster was one of the best in the series too. Finally, perhaps the greatest aspect of MKDD was the items, the fact that they were character specific was outstanding. You want a Bob-omb? No problem as long as you play with Wario or Waluigi, choosing characters was now more strategic and important than it had ever, or ever will be. Live long and prosper Double Dash!

Number 2: Mario Kart Wii

I’d pretty much call this one and the first place winner a tie, because they are both so good that it was so difficult to pick a winner. Mario Kart Wii brings a lot of things to the table include bikes, a massive character roster, returning tracks, the ability to perform tricks on ramps, 12 racers at a time, and of course: an unbelievably awesome online mode. Mario Kart Wii is near perfection so it’s hard to complain, though some of the new items are silly (like the Thundercloud, Mega Mushroom, and Blooper) and the Spiny Shell is more ruthless than ever. The motion controls works relatively well too, and while the battle mode isn’t nearly as good as in MK64 and MKDD it makes up for it by bringing back older tracks like Skyscraper (N64). Mario Kart Wii is the best home console Mario Kart and the absolute BEST multiplayer Mario Kart.

Number 1: Mario Kart 7

Maybe it’s just that the impact of the game hasn’t yet worn off, but Mario Kart 7 seems like it’s the best Mario Kart game ever. With the added effect of 3D, coins scattered across courses, a customization mode, fantastic track designs, underwater and gliding sections of track, and a fantastic online mode there isn’t any Mario Kart game better. Of course, handheld Mario Kart’s never have as good of a multiplayer mode as home consoles, and likewise, the game itself isn’t quite as enjoyable on such a small screen, and I hate how the game doesn’t record your time in online and grand prix, but only in time trials. Nonetheless, Mario Kart 7 is my pick for the best Mario Kart game of all time. Maybe it’s the freshness of the game that is distorting my view of it, and if so I’ll be sure to do a re-post of this article later on picking my favorite Mario Kart game, but for now give it up for Mario Kart 7!

Check back on January 8th 2011 for Part 2 which includes the top 7 tracks, specialty tracks, battle stages, and tracks that almost made it but didn't.

Spring 2012 Schedule

    Here we are in the glorious year of 2012. Not far away is the highly anticipated release of the Wii U, as well as upcoming titles like Paper Mario 3DS, Luigi's Mansion 2, and Kid Icarus Uprising. Here in the springtime however I'm going to be reviewing some really enormous games, some of which are considered to be the greatest games of all time. Between now and the end of March I'm going to be focusing on two major game franchises: Mario Kart and Metroid. As you may have noticed, I've just recently published mini-reviews of every last Mario Kart game to date, and on January 3rd I will be putting my largest feature yet on the site: an article listing the top 7 Mario Kart tracks, characters, items, karts, games, and more, so be sure to check for that on Tuesday January 3rd.

   What's more interesting however, is I will be doing full reviews for (almost) every Metroid game in the franchise. I will NOT be reviewing Metroid 2 Return of Samus (GB) or Metroid Prime Hunters (DS). All other games in the franchise will get their full reviews however. Following my review of all these games I will be counting down the Top Metroid games, songs, suits, etc. in another massive feature. These Metroid review dates are TBA and more info will appear as the time comes closer.

   And finally, a peak into the future would show what my Summer schedule will be like, and let me say that I have a lot planned. Following this Metroid marathon I will be having a Mario marathon over the summer, meaning I will be playing every last Mario platformer created (including Super Mario Galaxy, Super Mario Bros. 3, and Super Mario 64). That will make for some HUGE reviews. More info on these reviews coming soon.

    In closing I hope everyone had an awesome new year and a very merry Christmas. It'll be tough for this year's games to match or surpass the quality of 2011's, but I'm going to try my best to make my site as good as I can in the year ahead. Below you'll find a Spring 2012 schedule for reviews, most dates are timeframes and may not end up being around that time. Please check over the next few weeks for updates. Thanks for supporting the site!

January 3rd 2012-Top 7 Mario Kart Feature
Mid-January 2012-Metroid Review
January/February 2012-Metroid Prime Review
February 2012-Metroid Prime 2: Echoes Review
February 2012-Metroid Prime 3: Corruption Review
March 2012-Super Metroid Review
March 2012-Metroid Other M Review
March/April 2012-Metroid Fusion Review
April 2012-Top Metroid Feature